It was late 2014
Obsessed with Turntablism and producing, I had been publishing my work for a while. Eventually, my growing passion for Bodybuilding unlocked a deeper urge to say and express more. I had no idea of what self-reinvention was.
- Personal branding… one-person business… and, of course, the ‘creator economy.’ None of these were tossed around like they are now.
Nevertheless, enlightened individuals shared wisdom acquired through trial and error. Some didn’t just influence me — they reshaped my worldview of what was possible until my inner voice said:
You should do that too!
I had no friends but ideas and thoughts I couldn’t waste into the void of randomness and local noise. I needed to make them available for those who’d resonate.
As a youngster, I enjoyed StarCraft, but mIRC…
Well, a decade earlier, the mIRC also reshaped my life.
It showed me that my immediate environment didn’t have to determine who I dated or hung out with.
That depended on my intent and determination to find the right people. So, it was natural to get into content.
Especially since I’ve always been into concepts and cultures that normies and locals find bizarre and unnatural.
I yearned to discuss those topics and share personal stories, but my shyness and insecurities got in the way. Intuitively, I focused on:
- Useful information.
- Results I struggled with but finally achieved.
Long story short, I pioneered using the OMAD plan and NoFap as self-development and Bodybuilding devices. So, I taught others how to get my results.
Not because of having the best physique or being able to rub six-figure success in their face, but because none of it involved torturing like:
- Tracking calories, macros, and cheat meals.
- Mindless willpower exertion and discipline fan-boying.
- Fighting basic urges to prove a point in ridiculous challenges.
Creator Advice
As a noob, I needed advice, which led me to vague and sometimes directly contradicting notions like:
- Smile,
- Just start,
- Be unique,
- Be yourself,
- Post regularly,
- Smile again and say, ‘Hey guys,’ which, though not necessarily mentioned, seemed the most essential.
Things like scripting, proper gear, settings, sound, and a-roll and b-roll were ignored.
Ironically, those pushing that agenda usually had the best gear and settings. And never happened to film with their phones. Go figure.
At this point, there wasn’t much self-reinvention.
No Boundaries
As far as I know, the Internet was about removing boundaries, which implies readily articulating ideas in the language of the world. Yet, English also wasn’t mentioned.
What do you know? Learning it turned out to be much different from getting TOEFL or other certificates that the locals once rubbed in your face.
So, while taking the common advice surely got me started, down the line, it led to self-abuse and burnout, which I wasn’t prepared for. Maybe an angel and a demon worked simultaneously.
Still much self-reinvention happening yet.
Don’t Be Yourself
Part of doing Magick effectively is deconditioning yourself. According to LHP scholar Don Webb, ‘yourself’ is really a set of constructs, notions, and paradigms that your upbringing has embedded in you.
Besides setting limitations that are considered ‘acceptable’ by your upbringing, they influence everything:
- Your talk,
- Your walk,
- Facial expressions, gestures, and whole body language.
If that’s really you, and you like it, everything is okay. But does it reflect your deep sense of aesthetics and taste? And if you have such sense, do you know how to convey it?
Don’t Press Record
Such ‘be yourself low-effort content’ took plenty of time, as I often had to re-record it due to either of the following:
- Unawareness of the rule of thirds.
- Going all over the place and entirely missing my main point.
- Over- or underexposing, or using the sun as a key light while it moves during the take.
- Aw, and genuinely despising how I looked.
Yeah. Why not waste time doing that instead of writing a script and using a teleprompter, which nobody, especially those using them the most, mentioned (back then).
So the common advice: Just press record, it didn’t work for me as well, as I had to press it quite a lot.
Mental Health
Eventually, the urgency to post and regurgitate topics collided with the reality that I was stacking a pile of garbage and sacrificing my childhood passion because of that garbage.
My inner voice started asking me:
- Is this who you are and what you are really about?
- Do you actually ever say ‘hey guys’ in real life?
- Do you really smile a lot in person?
The clear answer was no.
The people who inspired me as a child were exceptionally skillful artists and inventors, yet they seldom smiled in their photos and interviews.
Although I pretty much never got any negative comments, the permanent burnout for something I wasn’t getting paid for, nor was I proud of, met such realizations. Later, they became conducive to self-reinvention.
My already high anxiety brought me to an extremely dark period, which ChatGPT likens to what Magick calls the desert of my soul.
Not Writing
Unlike an article, a thread, or a tweet, you can re-edit as much as you want; a published video is final. You hit publish, and there’s nothing you can do about it while making yourself vulnerable to the whole world.
- Are you proud of it?
- Do you like yourself?
- Does the person in it have an inspiring personality?
- Are they really unique? How unique since four out of five YouTubers say ‘hey guys,’ digress a lot, and smile even more.
The anxiety led to severe panic attacks, which turned into four years of agoraphobia and the inability to leave my home.
Sure, experimenting with modafinil due to underperformance anxiety played a role after reading the Bulletproof diet. Conversely, my mental state was already pretty bad. And yet, I:
- Smiled,
- Said Hey Guys,
- Kept discipline,
- Posted as much as I could,
- Permanently went the ‘extra mile’ listening about ‘amazing opportunities’ and Garry Vee reviewing wine.
Self-Reinvention
The first piece of non-technical, no-nonsense advice was to self-reinvent. Yet, I didn’t know how. All I knew was that sharing knowledge and experience with like-minded individuals globally was what I was supposed to be doing.
At around 2018, for whatever reason, some rappers and influencers started pushing the ‘go hyper-local’ agenda, which might be great if you are in a place like ATL, but it never ever made sense to me.
Magick
Seeking a solution to my panic disorder got me into Magick. One of the first things it did was get me focused on writing. So, I started reading my scripts from a piece of paper, or at least had bullet points.
Soon, the urge to write a book became unignorable. Scared shitless, I secretly started writing OMAD GAINS while making the most out of my anxiety-free time.
Writing felt awesome, while going in front of the camera felt awful. Magick reveals your true nature, and I am a writer first.
Isis Apophis Osiris IAO
Up until now, writing is one of my favorite parts, alongside editing and filming broll.
- The first is birth.
- The second rebirth.
- Filming Aroll is the death part of the process, or what Seth Godin calls the dip.
A video completed on time is a micro-initiation. We die and are reborn as more capable of enduring the randomness of the algorithm. Magick helps. A lot. And probably we are addicted to both.
Mr. Cynical
At that time, I listened to a lot of audiobooks, including both self-help and SWTOR novels. Fascinated with the characters’ depth and complexity, I wanted to learn more.
The algorithm showed me a Darth Kreya video delving into deeply philosophical and existential themes. The video was faceless, narrated like an actual audiobook.
Made by Rickafag, aka Mr. Cynical, it was something I had not seen before.
No smiles, hey guys, or CTA to follow yet another ‘amazing personality’ on IG. Just pure depth. Needless to say, I became a fan, rewatching all of Ricka’s stuff.
Tech Reviewers
Eventually, Ricka dropped the Evangelion video, which entirely changed the way I viewed content. Meanwhile, I got more into tech and ‘creator content,’ which, though also mostly faceless, had incredible quality.
Everything was structured and well-paced; there weren’t those disgusting cuts in the middle of a word or sound. There were composed shots, smooth motion, and great sound.
The Aroll was butter: nice depth of field, particle lights, and items hinting at the person’s story, passion, and what they were about. It felt inviting into one’s world.
Watching such videos, I wanted to be inside the shot with the creator and ask them about their tech, musical instruments, or life. Think of
On the contrary, plenty of discipline, self-improvement, and occult content felt the opposite. It got me thinking:
Why not use some of that discipline and rituals to step up your creator game, especially if you have an amazing personality and presumably care about the viewer? Don’t most Esoteric books start with the notion that occultists are exceedingly creative people?
— POTB
According to Qabalistic, wisdom everything reflects everything. Your work and artistry echo your development as an adept of life and philosopher of nature.
— POTB
The First Signs of Self-Reinvention
I wanted to combine both the depth and the cool shots, but discuss what was on my mind. Besides my slider, I got a gimbal and almost the best mic money can buy, the Neumann TLM 103, which wasn’t a smart investment.
I started making faceless reviews of Esoteric books. I started a new channel, as the old one felt pretty bad.
Soon, I realized that:
- Better gear can’t make up for the lack of skills.
- Exotics like sliders, gimbals, and drones, won’t ever make up for bad lighting, a shitty lens, or a camera, let alone a shitty creator.
Represent
After we started dating, my girl began mentioning I should really back my work with my face. Eventually, I sold the Neumann and rearranged my space to reflect who I am.
I also updated my camera and lens, sold more stuff I no longer use, and started learning about camera settings and log footage. Yes, besides skills, content also requires money.
I stopped trying to be a version of myself that the algorithm wanted. I stopped hiding behind depth without quality, or quality without truth.
Inspired by people like Mark Bone, Creative Ryan, YC Imaging, and Christian Mate Grab, I recently fell in love with the hand-held footage and announced my slider and gimbal for sale. At this point, they feel like a crutch I no longer need.
New Tripod and Self-Reinvention Completion
Wanting to film more in nature, I pulled the trigger on a Sirui Traveler X. Only 900g, this tripod is one of the best bang for the buck things I’ve gotten in my whole career as a creator.
While Sirui doesn’t sponsor my work, it’s so light I forget that I have it in my backpack when in the field. Maybe they should.
So The Message is This:
Create now with intention, not desperation. Not to perform — but to build a signal for those who resonate. The more the creator economy matures, the more we’ll agree it was never about finding a niche but about becoming someone whose voice makes the niche.
— POTB
But that’s just my opinion. Let me know if it resonates. And thank you for your time.