In this post I’ll give you my top tips on how to do NoFap without relapses. Below I discuss what were the things that helped me staying on track, until the my addiction faded away. I don’t believe using them is the only way of doing things. It’s just what I did back in 2013. Yet, 4 years later I’m still sure they can help others to succeed.
Disclaimer: I’ m not a doctor, nor any kind of medical advisor. While tip 3 is mostly for people with heaviest addiction, tip 1 and 2 are for everybody.
Tip #1 Get your grind on
When doing NoFap you’ll have 10 times more energy and probably that much more free time. The best thing you can do to succeed, is to invest them both in building the life and the things you want.
Step aside from your life’s current momentum. Observe it as 3rd person. Then take your time to figure out what you truly want.
Become aware of who you are and “who” or “what” you want to become. Get to know what it takes to become that thing. That won’t cause you any trouble, because now you’ll have a lot more clarity about everything.
If that is going to help, you can also think about all the things you’ve wanted to achieve as a growing up kid or a teenager.
Start planning. Also start making daily steps towards transforming your plans into reality.
Only after several weeks you might become urgent to constantly do and be more. You’ll start feeling like you’re capable of making some awesome things happen. Things which previously seemed too difficult to you.
Don’t hesitate. Go and do those exact things. Now they’ll be a lot easier.
Knowing you accomplished something small or bigger today is a feel like no other. The desire to experience it over and over again can give you power to fight any addiction. Including the one to masturbation and pornography. All you have to do after sparkling this desire is to keep fueling it.
Maybe there’s a skill you want to master or an instrument that you want to learn. Or maybe there is something else. Like starting a business, writing a blog or simply gaining more knowledge in certain field.
Well, I have good news. Now it’s probably the best time to do all of them.
Create new habits, but more importantly make sure you’re excited about maintaining them.
Remember: How you’re going to spend your time plays key role. Being constantly involved in things you find very exciting will keep you staying on track. Boredom on the other hand has the potential of dragging you back to your old habit. Therefore my suggestion is avoid boring things and people by any means.
“Don’t follow your passion” is what many Self-Help best sellers advocate. Even though it starts making more and more sense to me, I’ll probably always believe that as long as it is something positive (like: some form kind of craft, art or other skills and knowledge) pursuing your passion may be second to none for creating order in your life.
It worked for me and it will work for you as well.
I’ve spent big portion of those 4 years developing my own signature style in music and scratching or turntablism. It was something I craved to do during my whole puberty. Honestly I felt like it was an important part of my life mission and path.
While doing it my main source of inspiration was the practice to constantly asking myself:
“How the fusion between all of the genres that I’ve listened to as a teenager would sound like?”
What would happen if all of those producers and turntablists start collaborating with each other?”
I also knew that artwork/covers of those projects have to be perfect representation of the music inside.
Tip #2 Start training (more)
I can’t stress this one enough. Hands down I believe lifting weights can tremendously help anyone on his or her NoFap journey. It boosts the production of endorphins and makes you experience the so called “runner’s high feel”. It gives u positive outlook and set’s your whole day for success. I found that twice a day splits help me to keep the excitement going.
You can build rock solid daily routine around your visitations to the gym. For example: You can go to the gym in the morning, than (during the day) apply everything from tip 1 and than come back and train again in the evening. Obviously you’ll train different body parts on both of those sessions.
Or you can simply go for a nice walk on the 2nd one.
By following this regimen you’ll always have something to look forward to. Something which makes you feel good instantly. That will help you build momentum quickly and prevent you from derailing from your new lifestyle.
When on NoFap you’ll notice that you can exercise a lot more. You might even feel some strong need to do it. That is completely normal. Everything will be perfect as long as you have proper diet. You will recover faster than you can imagine, so don’t be afraid of overtraining.
Therefore hitting the weights more frequently may become essential part of your life.
“The greatest feel you can get in the gym is the “Pump” … Your muscles get a really tight feeling
It’s satisfying to me as having sex with a woman and cumming…” – Arnold Schwarzenegger – Pumping Iron
In some other interviews Arnold openly shares that, the female presence at the gym was which inspired him to workout even harder when training for a competition.
No, I never competed as bodybuilder, but I can relate to what the greatest bodybuilder of all time says.
Having massive pump is one of the best feels I’ve ever experienced. Getting and observing that pump in the mirror has some kind of therapeutic properties to me. Because of that I turned my training into a sacred ritual I never skip. A non conventional way to meditate and re connect with myself.
As long as for the female presence… Till this day it still makes me push myself harder when I train. In fact that’s how I partly discovered what is to have a muse and how to channel my sexual energy.
Tip #3 Have Sex (Optional)
No, I don’t believe having intimate contacts should be a must for you, nor that is something necessary for success with NoFap. There are plenty of people who go through their first 30 to 90 days without having any sex. Yet, my own experience reminds me that combining NoFap and celibacy, from the very beginning, can make things a lot more difficult than they need to be.
Based on that and on what see, I think there are 2 groups of people.
The ones who can do it without having sex and others who can’t. How to find to which group you belong?
Well, just be brutally honest about your addiction and not underestimate your weaknesses. If your addiction somehow heavy as mine was, then I’d say you should probably consider having some sex here and there.
You can also try starting NoFap without having intimate contacts and see for yourself. If you manage to successfully go through period between first 3 to 6 months, than congratulations! I guess you’re one of those people who have no difficulties doing it.
But if you relapse then no worries. Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve gained priceless experience and became aware of what you’re dealing with. That also means you belong to the same group such a as me 4 years ago. In this case I suggest you trying the other option.
Believe it or not sex can be one of the most powerful tools to utilize when fighting your addiction to fapping. It can help you to rewire your brain and start associating that type of pleasure with real intimate contacts only. That can make the earliest and most difficult phases of NoFap a lot easier than you expected.
·It will also help you build more mitochondria. Just incase you’re into biohacking and stuff…
No, it is not necessary to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, nor to have sex with random people. All you need is someone you really like having sex with. Enjoying it like it’s above and beyond accordingly to your standards and personal preferences.
Make sure the person of your choice inspires you to look forward to the days when you’re going to share intimacy with them. That’s very important and it will you help drastically.
Having pre-scheduled dedicated to sex days makes abstaining from touching yourself on the others a lot easier.
See that person once or twice a week. That’s more than enough. You really don’t want to overindulge in the habit of sex. You simply want to use it as a tool to break the chains of your addiction. To replace the habit of jerking of with the one of enjoying real sex with a real partner.
Now you probably wonder: “Ain’t this going to turn me into a pure sex addict?” The answer is: No, actually not at all.
No, it won’t be not necessary to have sex that frequently until the rest of your life. It’s just something you’ll use temporary. After succeeding in NoFap you’ll will have a lot stronger grip on your life and a lot better sex control.
There are plenty of things I understood during my 4 year NoFap journey. One of them is that sex is double edged sword. When on it’s own, the desire for sex can be completely different than the addiction developed by fapping.
As humans, sex is part of who we are. If we don’t do stupid things like doing it too frequently and as long as we choose our partners wisely, sex can enhance our lives. The desire for it can be controlled through sexual transmutation. The porn addiction, on the other hand, is something you can’t really control, nor channel.
I believe that:
The higher sex drive is something you want to stimulate and maintain.
The contaminated by pornography need for orgasms is sickness. A disease from which you want to heal yourself.
I found I can control and channel my desire for sexual expression towards achieving pretty much what ever I want. Channeling this desire before NoFap was never possible to me. I also found that having a muse is something I can use to charge that even more. Porn on the other hand can never be my muse.
Back in 2013 a very kind and attractive lady found me on the internet. We had some pleasant online conversation and she asked me if I wanted to date her and eventually become her intimate partner (not boyfriend).
I found her kindness and whole character very impressive and response was:
F*ck yeah! Why not?
She was 35 and I was 23.
Probably because of her maturity, the quality of those so called “dates” was incomparable to anything I experienced with my previous partners. To me it was totally different and new type a feel.
Completely aware fapping was f*cking up my erections, I decided to cut back on it drastically. So, I stopped entirely and everything was really good for a while.
The lady was busy running a business, and we were doing our thing on specific days only.
Those were Tuesday and Thursday. On Sunday she was always giving a long phone call.
I stayed on this schedule for around 3 weeks and my interest in pornography massively decreased.
It became so weak, that I was barely thinking about it.
I’m not sure what the reason was, but after a while I made the mistake to Fap again. On the next day I had to meet my her. Even though she was stunning, my erection was weak and I wasn’t able to maintain it. I felt so embarrassed and miserable.
Knowing what the reason was, deep inside me I hated my self for the thing I’ve done on the previous day.
Even though I had identical situations with my previous partners, this one was different. I felt like I didn’t wanted to miss any parts of what was happening back then. like it was something very rare.
Something I always wanted to do. So, what was the point of sacrificing it for fapping.
In this moment began to despise pornography and masturbation. I really no longer wanted to be a guy who jerks off. I felt it is not part of who and what I truly wanted to be.
Those were few very long minutes. Finally she broke the silence and asked me questions like:
Don’t you find me attractive?
I waited for few seconds and gave my answer:
I’d sacrifice the erections I’ll get with my future partners, just to have my d*ck hard AF all of the times when I have sex with you.
She laughed genuinely.
For me those few minutes were the breaking point – The first moment of my real NoFap journey.
My adventures with the lady continued few more months. After that period my addiction was virtually gone.
After a while It came back at me few more times. Yet, none of them was strong enough to drag me back into the past and handled each of them with ease.
In the next 4 years I did everything from tip 1 and 2. I also applied some other stuff and this entirely transformed my life.
Uniqueness of the porn addiction
The only thing which differentiates porn and maybe alcohol from the other habit forming substances is the way society treats them.
While the general opinion about drugs is commonly bad (or very bad) and while most of them are if not banned or illegal, at least very difficult to get in many countries, porn is in abundance where ever you go. Plus that is free. Bonus.
You’ve been told that drugs ruined many peoples live. But you never heard that porn produces identical results.
We are constantly bombarded with lighter versions of pornography through media and commercials. They work as potential triggers to our psyche. When fighting your addiction you’ll have to fight those things as well.
School organizations and others pretend they strive for drug free youth, but nobody says anything about the problem with porn addiction and masturbation. In fact average people see fapping as something good and even natural.
I believe those are the only things which make overcoming this addiction a bit more challenging.
I guess same goes to junk food and tobacco, but they’re really not that exciting. Or are they?
I hope that makes sense.
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Along with helping people to reach their goals, his passion is composing music and filming videos for it. By doing so he incorporates the art of scratch in his production. What makes his signature style so unique is the combination of polyphonic melodies with heavy 808’s and very technical turntable skills. Perfect examples of that are both of his albums: Jack of all Trades (Mixtape) and Magic Dice.